It was no Coincidence!

Meeting Dave and Falling In Love

I was married to a man I was madly in love with. He was my High School sweetheart! We were building our first home and looking forward to many years together in the town we grew up in. We were expecting our third child and were in the middle of the happiest days of our lives.

Then... a strange thought entered my mind... "It wouldn't always be this way". Another strange thought... someday I would be married to a "fruit farmer" and a "military man". "That's ridiculous", I thought. "I am the happiest and luckiest girl alive. Why would I ever think something like that."? I even felt a little guilty with the thought. But I did have to secretly confess... I had always been attracted to both professions and often daydreamed about a beautiful fruit orchard and marrying a soldier... a patriotic kind of guy. I thought that would be romantic! I shrugged it off, but that thought came to full fruition several years later. Not by my choice, mind you. The man I loved with all my heart left us... me and our five beautiful children. He deserted us; abandoned us. It turned my whole world upside down. I had five children who depended on me, and me alone. How could I grieve when so much was heaped upon me! I cried... oh, how I cried... many, many nights I cried myself to sleep. In spite of the frightening circumstances I found myself in, I proved to be braver and stronger than I ever thought possible. I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and made a new life for the kids and I. I went back to college and got a B.S. degree and prepared for the future. I was determined that my kids would not go without! I was going to make sure of it. The next few years were long and I didn't think my heart would ever heal. Sometimes I would just go through the motions of the day. But those years also turned out to be some of the happiest memories of our lives. We had so little, yet had so much. I grew in ways I never expected. The kids were happy and well adjusted. We not only survived, but thrived. It's a hard thing to explain. The blessings came so unexpectedly; but always at the right time.

I got my degree in Family and Consumer Science Education, with a minor in Nutrition. I grew up in 4-H and always dreamed of being an Extension Agent; the lady in charge of "fashion shows".   I was headed there, really! One of my childhood dreams were becoming a reality. 

I became good friends with a single lady just around the corner from my house. After a few years, she moved over the hill, 30 miles away. She was neighbors with a newly single man with three children. He worked for the Department of Agriculture. My friend knew she had to get us together somehow. We had so much in common! His father had been an Extension Agent for most of his adult life. His son, my friend's neighbor, followed in his dad's footsteps and was interested in plants, gardening and farming. We talked on the phone and decided to meet.

It was winter. I chose an activity that all of us could do. All ten of us! We went to Hardware Ranch, a mountain location in northern Utah that the DWR (Division of Wildlife Resources) owned. Hundreds of Elk take refuge and make Hardware Ranch their home in the winter months. Sleigh rides through the herd, hot chocolate and friendly chat prevailed our first meeting. It went pleasantly well, considering my first impression.

On the day of our first meet, he knocked on the door and was welcomed in to the house. For a brief second he looked familiar to me... like "I knew him". Strange! And first impressions... I remember his big grin. It was far too energetic for me! The little boy he held in his arms. That was not at all attractive to me. I was overwhelmed with my own little brood. How could I want more? The attraction was not there. But we had planned a day out and I was going to make the best of it. At the end of the day I was pleasantly surprised at how well it went. The next few weeks and months were filled with phone conversations and dates. I still couldn't say I was in love with him, but we enjoyed each other's company. It slowly evolved into a companionship, full of ups and downs, the good and not-so-good. But nonetheless, it evolved into a desire to be together more than just the occasional date. Eight months after our first date, we were married. 

Was it the beginning of love? I would like to think so. Love the second time around was much different than the first. Bringing children and extra baggage into the mix proved to be one of the greatest challenges I think either of us would ever face. Over the years we have had to work through some very rough times. Yet... we have remained together in spite of periods of separation. Does that define love for us? I would like to think so.

Can I say I had a moment when I knew he was "the ONE?" No!  But that crazy little thought that entered my mind 15 years before I met him... the thought that I would marry a "farmer" and a"military man", became a reality. "Was that when I knew?" If I did, I wouldn't have believed it at the time. Insane!

We have been married just over 22 years now. Dave recently retired from both the Army and the Department of Agriculture, and we are fruit farmers. How coincidental is that! Is it a romantic life, much like I dreamed about when I was much younger? Hardly ever! Are we madly in love? That's hard to define. You can't compare one love to another, but I can say this... it's love... our way. 

Would I change anything about my life with this wonderful man I have as my spouse? No! He is "THE ONE"! And I believe it was no coincidence.